Oi.
You.
Yes, you - reading this right now. If you're one of the people on the list on the left... BLOG! Give me something to write in response to :-) You're all miles away and I am stuck here in old A-town.
I am still here, Blogging, Facebooking, MySpacing, Twittering, Blip.fming and such.
And here's a nice song. Maybe Emili will appreciate this one.
----------------
Now playing: Tracy Bonham - Shine
via FoxyTunes
May 18, 2009
February 20, 2009
Beyond The Sky
Everything's changing lately. I feel consciously quite different than I was 6 months ago. Whether this is good or bad, I'm yet to figure out.
I have been working at a pub since December now - they've given me 2 shifts in 4 weeks, which isn't so good. I can't leave because the chances are I won't get another job, but staying is like not having a job right now.
I quit Pretty Vacant. The direction changed completely and every song became a struggle to get through, a real contrast compared to last year when I would find my space in each song and surround myself in it. Come to think of it, I haven't really enjoyed anything for quite a while. I can't sit through movies, tv programs, gigs or anything anymore. They seem like petty idle distractions and by five minutes in, I want out. There's nothing I can think of that I want to do. My focus seems to have flown out the window and communicating this can be quite frustrating. I sit down and just think, where'd everything I live for go?
I'm a Gemini and I can't even peel myself off the frelling floor these days - not very Gemini at all.
My favourite people are all so far away. Em's in London town, Hyland's in Newbury and Bii's in Deutschland - Bii rocks muchly. I've never met another Thunderbird bassplayer who also happens to like Taken and be able to quote it too and who also happens to like the Backyard Babies.
All change I guess - I have 4 interviews coming up for university, Bath Spa, Hertfordshire, Westminster and Canterbury/Broadstairs. I have a lot of work to do before all these, which isn't very long indeed.
Still researching the family tree when I can. I am apparently mainly Shoshone Indian with some Cherokee and Chickasaw too.
I have been working at a pub since December now - they've given me 2 shifts in 4 weeks, which isn't so good. I can't leave because the chances are I won't get another job, but staying is like not having a job right now.
I quit Pretty Vacant. The direction changed completely and every song became a struggle to get through, a real contrast compared to last year when I would find my space in each song and surround myself in it. Come to think of it, I haven't really enjoyed anything for quite a while. I can't sit through movies, tv programs, gigs or anything anymore. They seem like petty idle distractions and by five minutes in, I want out. There's nothing I can think of that I want to do. My focus seems to have flown out the window and communicating this can be quite frustrating. I sit down and just think, where'd everything I live for go?
I'm a Gemini and I can't even peel myself off the frelling floor these days - not very Gemini at all.
My favourite people are all so far away. Em's in London town, Hyland's in Newbury and Bii's in Deutschland - Bii rocks muchly. I've never met another Thunderbird bassplayer who also happens to like Taken and be able to quote it too and who also happens to like the Backyard Babies.
All change I guess - I have 4 interviews coming up for university, Bath Spa, Hertfordshire, Westminster and Canterbury/Broadstairs. I have a lot of work to do before all these, which isn't very long indeed.
Still researching the family tree when I can. I am apparently mainly Shoshone Indian with some Cherokee and Chickasaw too.
"A sign of unresolve that, envisioned, drives the pinwheel on-and-on.
I am disabled by fears concerning which course to take.
When memory bears witness to the innocence, consumed in dying rage.
There can be no other means to the end, or keys to my heart,
You will never find, you will never find."
- Dead Can Dance - In Power We Entrust The Love Advocated
November 08, 2008
Wikipedia:
Asexuals may experience romantic attraction, or the desire for, fantasy of, or propensity towards romantic love, often directed at people of genders falling within an affectional orientation. Many asexuals also identify as straight, gay or bi,hetero-, homo-, or bi-romantic. Some asexuals identify as "aromantic." A relationship between an asexual and a sexual person does not necesarily involve sexual activity. using the terms in a strictly affectional sense.
Just to clear this up :-)
October 21, 2008
Hints, Allegations And Things Left Unsaid
Writing from the states, had to after today's enlightening experience. Out at Islands Of Adventure (not a Walt Disney Wank theme park, thank fuck!), we walked past a psychic tent, something tourists buy into really. The people in the tent didn't try and get you to buy in, instead they let human curiosity run as it should. It was $15 for 5 minutes with a card reader and after umming and ahhing about it for a few, I went for it.
All I told my card reader was my first name and I was very careful of my body language. This it turned out would've been impossible to pick-up on as she did most of the reading with her eyes closed.
First she got me to shuffle a relatively thick deck, which going by the rough amount I guessed was probably your standard major and minor arcana deal and then 2 smaller decks of cards (I'm not sure what type).
She spread the cards out as I had shuffled them and told me to pick several cards from the main deck and one from each smaller deck.
I did so and the cards were placed, the Three Of Swords appearing again (if I had a quid for the amount of times it has appeared, I could pay off a student loan).
The first three cards were Travelling, The Warrior and The Star.
- I will find myself very soon if it hasn't already started and it will happen very quickly.
- I will find a passion and it will become rooted in my heart.
- I am just about to get on my path.
- The Three Of Swords was important. She mentioned that 3 is a very important number in my life (I have been thinking about that lately). She said it was 3 months/3 years or 3 loves, something around the number 3 that I had been hurt by.
- Something that happened in March was important (I think I know exactly what).
- Someone promised you a lot "that has never come to pass". (Again, I know exactly what).
- I will let go of everything around the Three Of Swords soon.
- Parents: Both come from a loving place; better relationship with mother, father - hard around the edges, soft inside, very accurate.
- I have the potential to make a lot of money. Tied to this card was one that basically affirmed that I need to speak up and be more assertive.
- There is something that I need to do now, or in spring, but not in November, December or January (again, I think I know what).
- "Not crazy, not schizo" - different sides to personality, how she phrased it was very accurate.
- "In touch with your spirituality".
- Sexuality issues will become clear.
- "Not a bad childhood, but turbulent times" (very accurate) - I am letting go of these at the moment apparently.
And ran out of time before the future card, though it was probably a good thing going by what my cousins got.
All I told my card reader was my first name and I was very careful of my body language. This it turned out would've been impossible to pick-up on as she did most of the reading with her eyes closed.
First she got me to shuffle a relatively thick deck, which going by the rough amount I guessed was probably your standard major and minor arcana deal and then 2 smaller decks of cards (I'm not sure what type).
She spread the cards out as I had shuffled them and told me to pick several cards from the main deck and one from each smaller deck.
I did so and the cards were placed, the Three Of Swords appearing again (if I had a quid for the amount of times it has appeared, I could pay off a student loan).
The first three cards were Travelling, The Warrior and The Star.
- I will find myself very soon if it hasn't already started and it will happen very quickly.
- I will find a passion and it will become rooted in my heart.
- I am just about to get on my path.
- The Three Of Swords was important. She mentioned that 3 is a very important number in my life (I have been thinking about that lately). She said it was 3 months/3 years or 3 loves, something around the number 3 that I had been hurt by.
- Something that happened in March was important (I think I know exactly what).
- Someone promised you a lot "that has never come to pass". (Again, I know exactly what).
- I will let go of everything around the Three Of Swords soon.
- Parents: Both come from a loving place; better relationship with mother, father - hard around the edges, soft inside, very accurate.
- I have the potential to make a lot of money. Tied to this card was one that basically affirmed that I need to speak up and be more assertive.
- There is something that I need to do now, or in spring, but not in November, December or January (again, I think I know what).
- "Not crazy, not schizo" - different sides to personality, how she phrased it was very accurate.
- "In touch with your spirituality".
- Sexuality issues will become clear.
- "Not a bad childhood, but turbulent times" (very accurate) - I am letting go of these at the moment apparently.
And ran out of time before the future card, though it was probably a good thing going by what my cousins got.
September 14, 2008
The Ancestry Post
I'm going to post a random post once in a while on a random direct ancestor. I have some rather odd and interesting ones. The American genepool is a tad messy.
One of my great great grandfathers...
Name: Zachary B. Branch
Sex: M
Birth: Jan 1875
Death: 1930 in Pope County, Arkansas
Burial: Pigsah Cemetery, Atkins, Arkansas
Quoted from a cousin... Boyd (a relative) told of Zach living in the Bottoms of the Arkansas River. A drunk man came to the porch. He told him to leave... he kept trying to get in Zach's house. Zach shot him and then turned himself in for doing it.
Excerpt from a newspaper
One of my great great grandfathers...
Name: Zachary B. Branch
Sex: M
Birth: Jan 1875
Death: 1930 in Pope County, Arkansas
Burial: Pigsah Cemetery, Atkins, Arkansas
Quoted from a cousin... Boyd (a relative) told of Zach living in the Bottoms of the Arkansas River. A drunk man came to the porch. He told him to leave... he kept trying to get in Zach's house. Zach shot him and then turned himself in for doing it.
Excerpt from a newspaper
Oct. 17, 1912 - Will Hughes Shot
by Zack Branch
Will Hughes was shot by Zack Branch at the
latter's house near the Arkansas River, 5 miles southeast of Russellville,
yesterday morning at 2o'clock... Mr. Boyd said these Branches were not ones to
mess with as they would just 'shoot you'.
September 11, 2008
The Backyard Babies
Went with my sister and my dad to see The Backyard Babies last night. Not bad at all! Zara's been a huge fan of Backyard for a while (understatement, about 4 years) and dad's still into his punk - he doesn't grow up!
Got to The Brook after about an hour and a half of driving and a few wrong turns, even with the satnav. Queued up for about ten minutes before the doors opened and we headed to the upstairs bar for beers and to watch the first band, Skintight Jaguars. They were pretty good, the audience just wasn't awake at that point sadly.
Next up, Crucified Barbara. Definitely a breath of fresh air, I haven't been so inspired or blown away by a band for about three years. Musically amazing and as weird as it seems, I've never seen a girl solo anywhere near the standards that I saw last night and the bassplayer showed up a lot of others with the walking fingers technique. Definitely checking this band out again.
The Backyard set passed in a blur, we were right by Dregen :-) They didn't play "A Song For The Outcast", but they did do "Fuck Off And Die", "Nomadic", "Minus Celsius" and "The Clash" :-)
Got to The Brook after about an hour and a half of driving and a few wrong turns, even with the satnav. Queued up for about ten minutes before the doors opened and we headed to the upstairs bar for beers and to watch the first band, Skintight Jaguars. They were pretty good, the audience just wasn't awake at that point sadly.
Next up, Crucified Barbara. Definitely a breath of fresh air, I haven't been so inspired or blown away by a band for about three years. Musically amazing and as weird as it seems, I've never seen a girl solo anywhere near the standards that I saw last night and the bassplayer showed up a lot of others with the walking fingers technique. Definitely checking this band out again.
The Backyard set passed in a blur, we were right by Dregen :-) They didn't play "A Song For The Outcast", but they did do "Fuck Off And Die", "Nomadic", "Minus Celsius" and "The Clash" :-)
August 25, 2008
August 24, 2008
A Certain Shade Of Green
Last night I was reminded again just how bitchy and downright nasty the pub cover scene can be. For one, I appreciate that my place in the band is something of a novelty for those that come see us. I am female and the youngest member of the band by about 15 years (our drummer is 30 years older than myself). There is only one other female on the entire Andover pub covers circuit. I understand the novelty there, but twice members of other bands have tried to use this for cheap shots. Bit low level?
I beg a question of the local scene of 40-somethings who play music for whatever reason... Can we please just stick to the music?
I beg a question of the local scene of 40-somethings who play music for whatever reason... Can we please just stick to the music?
Incubus - A Certain Shade Of Green - "Are you going to stand around 'til twentytwelve AD? What are you waiting for, a certain shade of green?"
August 23, 2008
All the countless horrible grey clouds surrounding the concept of going to university cleared in my head today. I've been joking around with going to a university as far away as possible to get away from everything, just to break away. I was rooting around and looking at the websites of Scottish universities and I suddenly knew exactly where I was going and exactly what I was going to do. I stumbled on it by mistake but instinct has told me that this could very possibly be it.
Commercial Music at the University Of The West Of Scotland - Ayr (30 miles southwest of Glasgow)
"The primary objective of this course is to enable those with talent and ability to forge a varied, life-long career. Incorporating performance, business, technology and sociology elements, the course is delivered predominantly at University Campus, Ayr. It is structured around a spine of key skills modules (IT, Communication and Negotiation Skills, Structure of the Music Industry, Applied Creativity), and allows students to select modules in Performance and/or Production and/or Industry Environment/Sociology thereby customising the final qualification to suit their chosen career path.
Advanced project work including record releases and performance events will be staged regularly to develop the students' experience and understanding of the industry environment. Open to musicians, producers, DJs, re-mixers, those wishing to run small record companies, develop artists or stage live events, the course will encourage each student to develop a group of specialisms making them sufficiently versatile to sustain not one, but several serial careers in the music industry."
I just know that this is the general direction I am headed and I have never felt quite so sure about anything in my entire life. At college I have been unsure of which direction to go in, nothing really sticking out for me, but this is enlightenment. It incorporates music and media in so many ways.
- Choice of direction of the course, performance/production/sociology.
- Analysis of copyright and intellectual property.
- Professional practice.
- Digital music and video production.
- Events production.
- Investigation of the international music markets.
- Website design.
- Music product design.
- 4 week industry placement.
- Album production, venue production, artist development and radio production.
- Festival and tour production.
Commercial Music at the University Of The West Of Scotland - Ayr (30 miles southwest of Glasgow)
"The primary objective of this course is to enable those with talent and ability to forge a varied, life-long career. Incorporating performance, business, technology and sociology elements, the course is delivered predominantly at University Campus, Ayr. It is structured around a spine of key skills modules (IT, Communication and Negotiation Skills, Structure of the Music Industry, Applied Creativity), and allows students to select modules in Performance and/or Production and/or Industry Environment/Sociology thereby customising the final qualification to suit their chosen career path.
Advanced project work including record releases and performance events will be staged regularly to develop the students' experience and understanding of the industry environment. Open to musicians, producers, DJs, re-mixers, those wishing to run small record companies, develop artists or stage live events, the course will encourage each student to develop a group of specialisms making them sufficiently versatile to sustain not one, but several serial careers in the music industry."
I just know that this is the general direction I am headed and I have never felt quite so sure about anything in my entire life. At college I have been unsure of which direction to go in, nothing really sticking out for me, but this is enlightenment. It incorporates music and media in so many ways.
- Choice of direction of the course, performance/production/sociology.
- Analysis of copyright and intellectual property.
- Professional practice.
- Digital music and video production.
- Events production.
- Investigation of the international music markets.
- Website design.
- Music product design.
- 4 week industry placement.
- Album production, venue production, artist development and radio production.
- Festival and tour production.
August 07, 2008
Steady On Your Feet
I am in self-destruct mode, though I don't know why. I think maybe I need to take some time to realign what really holds any meaning to me, and what will carry me to where I need to be.
First of all, a friend's photography project needs to be brought up. A genius idea, going with the PostSecret style; I was asked to do a card a while back and write a secret on it. I had never come across this "PostSecret" idea before this, so I thought long and hard. I don't think I have any skeletons and yet I think I do at the same time, so rather than trying to psychoanalyse myself, I wrote down an issue, maybe something that wasn't openly known before as opposed to a "secret".
I am no longer with one of the most nicest men on this planet. He is right, we are very different. However, I will always thank him for teaching me a lot about myself, whether he realised it or not. There were these little encouraging challenges from him that I needed, though they didn't really click until now. A "c'mon, let's go" or "c'mon, let's do this" or "how about...?" instead of shrugs of dismissal like someone with no aim in life. Little challenges, from a true day-seizer, someone who is really going places; I wish him all the best and guarantee that there will be someone truly amazing who will be the right one for him.
The "secret" on the card? "I've never trusted any man even though I have no reason not to."
That has changed and I am and will always be grateful.
First of all, a friend's photography project needs to be brought up. A genius idea, going with the PostSecret style; I was asked to do a card a while back and write a secret on it. I had never come across this "PostSecret" idea before this, so I thought long and hard. I don't think I have any skeletons and yet I think I do at the same time, so rather than trying to psychoanalyse myself, I wrote down an issue, maybe something that wasn't openly known before as opposed to a "secret".
I am no longer with one of the most nicest men on this planet. He is right, we are very different. However, I will always thank him for teaching me a lot about myself, whether he realised it or not. There were these little encouraging challenges from him that I needed, though they didn't really click until now. A "c'mon, let's go" or "c'mon, let's do this" or "how about...?" instead of shrugs of dismissal like someone with no aim in life. Little challenges, from a true day-seizer, someone who is really going places; I wish him all the best and guarantee that there will be someone truly amazing who will be the right one for him.
The "secret" on the card? "I've never trusted any man even though I have no reason not to."
That has changed and I am and will always be grateful.
Soul Asylum - Runaway Train - "You were there like a blowtorch burning, I was a key that could use a little turning."
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